Wednesday, November 9, 2011


Yes, Femdenity is finally back on course. Thank you to everyone for your awesome patience. I had to take a break in order to jump through a lot of hoops in order to apply for graduate school and as of yesterday, I'm officially accepted into the Masters of Psychology program at Antioch University- Los Angeles with a specialization in Trauma and Addictions! I'm completely over the moon because this is the start of part two of my 5 year plan to makeover my life which leads me to what I want to talk about today.

It is so easy to say what you want to accomplish, but it is a completely different thing to do it. Life has a crazy way of seeming to delay or deny your dreams in the name of meeting responsibilities. One thing I've learned through the last two years is that it is not life that is in our way, but our limited imagination and plain fear. I could have done this move years ago, but I was so focused on my bills, how much money I was making and keeping a job. The thought of not working or even going part time gripped me with such absolute fear that I refused to make any strides toward the life I wanted. It was not until I lost everything that I finally took the chance to go back to school. Why did it have to go that far? I could have just as easily taken classes part-time as I was working and still accomplished my same goals years ago. Fear has an amazing way of gripping you into and/or and black or white thinking. I challenge each and every one of you to start looking at ways you can change your life at this very moment to fulfill your dreams. Life does not have to come crashing down, nor does it require a grand moment in order for you to take charge. I don't care how little the step may be, you will be closer to your dreams than you were the day before. 

Monday, September 26, 2011

I Am So Sorry For Being MIA

Man, preparing for grad school has been more encompassing than I thought. Who knew? Between writing I don't know how many papers, gathering up info, trying to find a job, get my certification transferred and looking for a place in California, I'm all over the place. That, mixed with a bout of strep. Either way, I apologize for the lack of posts and I promise that we will kick things off again very soon. Thank you to everyone for being so supportive.


Thursday, September 8, 2011

An Event for Stephanie

Loved local Deep Ellum photographer, and Femdenity contributor, Stephanie of A to Zed Photography, was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, and as many artists today, she is without insurance. Vivienne Vermuth is throwing an event to help her with any and all costs she may run into during her fight. La Grange will host this amazing event, featuring - (click here for more info)

ART GALLERY feat. artworks from all over Dallas and beyond, with all proceeds going to help her win this fight.

5 dollars suggested donation,you may donate what you can. It will be an amazing night of love, music, art and fun! it'll go late, so come party, kick back, and raise money to help a local friend fight cancer!

There is also a call for donations: We are doing an art gallery at La Grange for artists who would be willing to donate art to be auctioned off/sold and proceeds going to a local Deep Ellum photographer who is battling breast cancer. Please spread the word and have anyone interested in donating and/or volunteering on Sept 23 at Lagrange to email me at photographers, sculptresses, painters, etc. 

PLEASE REMEMBER TO DO REGULAR BREAST EXAMS! This is how Stephanie found her lump. I know I've been super slack about this despite the history of it being in my family. She has inspired me to take charge of my health again. 

Women Who Took The Plunge: Featuring Vivienne Vermuth

When it comes to establishing your own business, sometimes it ends up more of a brand. You seriously have fingers in several pots, are multifaceted and don't want to just pick one. Guess what? YOU DON'T HAVE TO, and returning contributor, Vivienne Vermuth is proof. She is a makeup artist, burlesque dancer, costume/hat/pasties designer, producer and much more. Feel free to check her out!

So we all know that you are burlesque dancer, but you have your hands in several other pots. What all do you do, and what lead you to turn a passions into a business?

Overall, i'm just creative. I love to make things. Since I was a tiny person I've tried to always make everything around me more interesting, beautiful and fun. I'm more than blessed to be able to take my creativity and turn it into a business.

How long have you been in business for yourself and what made you finally decide to take the plunge?

Honestly about 6 months fully. My last boss actually takes credit. She was pretty good about giving me time off for my projects until one incident came up where she completely dropped the ball and cost me a major client. I then realized how much time and money I was wasting working for her and having to turn down paid work. I walked out and never looked back!

Branding is a very powerful tool. How do you brand your burlesque identity with your other business endeavors?

Its all intertwined. Being in burlesque has opened outlets for me to pursue creative ventures that I never would have had. Its hard to make burlesque profitable, but if you are smart and do it right it can be a great career!                                                                                                                                                              

What is something you know now that you wish you would have known when you first started out?

Don't be afraid of not giving friends favors. Your true friends will understand that you need to eat too, and will not take advantage of you. Those who don't, well you don't need them around. And never ever devalue yourself, you are worth being paid and making a living!

One thing that is a bit different about you is that your stage persona and business identity relate to each other. How do you balance you personal life with your very public persona?

Its really hard, but I take it day by day. I have to be reminded to shut off my phone, stop answering texts, etc. When I'm hanging out with friends. I have a group of friends who use my government name only and I like it. Its hard to remember to relax, but its great when I can.

If others are interested in hiring you, how can they get in touch with you and what should they expect?

Vforvermuth@gmail is best. They can expect emails at 3 am, that are friendly, courteous and detailed to the project. I'm very detail oriented and work hard at whatever task I'm assigned.

Bonus Question: The Animal mask you made... ARE YOU SERIOUS?! THAT IS F'N AWESOME! Are you hiding any other tricks under your sleeve? :)

My next projects involve full 6 foot span wings, a poinsettia nudesuit, a full burlesque tour of South Texas, and maybe sleeping a full night. But we will see on that last one...

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Women Who Took The Plunge: Featuring Jennifer Ludlam

This month, Femdenity is celebrating women who took the plunge and decided to start their own business. Our first interviewee is Jennifer Ludlam, the owner of Soul Groove Studio

What kind of business do you own and what is the name? How long have you been open?

The name of my business is Sole Groove Dance Fitness.  We are an adult-centered, fitness-oriented dance studio in Flower Mound, TX.  We just celebrated our first year of business!

So, tell me a little something about yourself. I know you are a wife and a Mom. Did you open your business before or after those big life changing moments? Also, how do you now balance everything?

I met the man who is now my husband on my first day of college!  I graduated from SFA with a BA in Theatre and intended to teach until retirement.  Funny how the plan for your life will happen whether you’re on board at the beginning or not!  We were married a year after graduating and had our son two years later.  While both of those were big, life-changing decisions, they both came very naturally and I knew there were events in my life that had prepared me for both of those choices, so I had the tools I needed and a good dose of faith in both of those decisions.  The studio was a different story.  It was incredibly risky and carried all the emotion of having a child without something tiny to cuddle with when you doubted yourself!  I am constantly seeking balance between life, work, and art.  My husband has now started his own business and I wonder often how it will affect our child.  Will he develop a strong work ethic and entrepreneurial spirit because he’s watched us or will he feel neglected and that we chose our work over him?  It’s an ongoing quest to keep a strong and healthy marriage, a happy and well-adjusted child who knows he’s loved, a growing business, and a professional performing schedule.  Some days I seem to have it figured out and some days I cry in the shower and question myself!  That’s just growing up, I guess!

Your dance studio specializes in belly dance. How long have you been dancing? How did your passion lead to this business idea?

The studio doesn’t actually focus primarily on bellydance.  It’s just a facet of the whole picture.  Bellydance just happens to be my passion!  I’ve danced in one format or another my entire life.  After college, I reluctantly traded in my dance shoes for a yoga mat because there was just nowhere for adults to take a dance class (without having to be in a recital).  When my son was about six months old, I decided that I would be a better mom if I felt better about my body and was doing something for myself every now and then.  I found a yoga studio that offered a bellydance class and it was something that I’d always wanted to try.  I walked in and the ladies were going on and on about my hips being so big.  I was resigned to it by this point and told them I just had to accept it.  They quickly corrected me by explaining that they stuffed things in their dance costumes to pad and accentuate the hips so theirs would look like mine did naturally!  Unbelievable!  I picked up the foundation of the dance relatively quickly and decided I never wanted to stop learning this incredible art.  In no time, I was feeling comfortable with the shape of my body, making new friends, and celebrating femininity in a way I never had before!  I always thought that being feminine meant being high-maintenance.  Even though I’ve always been extremely “girlie” I made great efforts to be as low-maintenance as possible.  Middle Eastern Dance taught me that feminine is strong and glamorous and that, when I’m being myself, I’m stronger than when I’m trying to please everyone.  I started performing pretty quickly after I began classes (probably earlier than I should’ve) and my stage persona was kind of my alter ego.  Now, the two identities have merged to become an artist who is laid back, but professional.  Sweet and strong. Dance did all of this for me and I wanted to share dance with other grown women, so they could experience whatever transformation their lives were calling for.

What made you decide to take the big plunge and open your own business and how did you go about it?

The decision to leave the career I’d worked my whole life for to do something I knew nothing about was the biggest leap of faith I ever took!  It started with my husband’s grandfather passing away and leaving us a very generous inheritance.  We did some fun stuff, paid off all of our debt, gave to some choice charities that were close to our hearts, then left the rest sitting in the bank waiting for us to decide what should be done with it. I was going about my normal business teaching children and thinking that my specific calling in life was to work with kids.  I worked in a low socio-economic school and some of the kids had really heart-breaking stories.  One day, one of my favorite students (I know teachers aren’t supposed to have faves, but it happens sometimes) told me that his dad left in the middle of the night and fled the country to avoid being arrested.  I was devastated for this child, but I guess for the first time, I thought about it from the mom’s point of view.  Dad didn’t tell the kids goodbye.  Mom had to wait for her children to wake up that morning to explain to them that they might never see their father again.  Her income was instantly slashed in half and she had two children to raise on her own.  Just like that.  That’s when it occurred to me that these kids I was trying so hard to rescue were the children of some women who were dealing with a lot of life. Fast forward to the spring semester of that school year.  Awful new principal (it really does make a difference), wild kids and a general toxic atmosphere at work made teaching a burden and took the joy out of my career.  One of my friends sent an email to friends and family announcing that she was beginning her own private counseling practice.  I kept thinking, “She’s my age.  She’s just going for it.”  I guess I thought you had to be a “grown up” to do something like that and this was the final push I needed to take the plunge.  My husband loved the idea and was very supportive, so we got started around February and opened the doors in August of 2010.

What is something you know now that you wish someone would have told you when you first opened?

Remember I planned to teach public school for my entire adult life.   Thus, I never planned on having a lot of money (sad but true)!  When I opened this business, I was so concerned with making everyone happy and I was afraid of coming across as greedy.  I wish someone had told me that it’s ok for people to know that I was trying to make some money as a business.  While money not the driving force behind my decisions, there are definitely some things I would have handled differently had I just relaxed and looked at the big picture!  Now I’m comfortable with the fact that I have to promote this place even in the face of possible rejection and that people expect me to be trying to make a buck!  I still have no intention of becoming wealthy.  If I can maintain a business that is driven by the desire to connect to people and bring people together, I’ll make enough to get by and maybe even enough to give away to those who need it.

A lot of women are interested in joining a place like Sole Groove to take classes like Burlesque 101 or Belly Dance, but are afraid due to how they see their bodies. What would you say to these women, especially Moms?

We do deal with body image issues a lot at Sole Groove.  I’ve found that, while it does slow some people down, once they get in the door, the intimidation goes away.  They see that it’s a welcoming, non-judgemental environment and most women are comfortable pretty immediately after coming in!  What a blessing to go to a place with women who have the same insecurities and struggles and work together to overcome them as a community!  Body image has been an issue for me my entire life (as it is for most women in our society).   I’ve even gone so far as to have Proverbs 31:30 tattooed on my arm so I can be reminded of what makes a woman beautiful.  “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.”   Dance does something to people.  Think about it.  You’re never as hot in your own mind as when you are out on the dance floor!  When ladies are dancing in class, they start having fun and they forget to be self-conscious, critical, and self-deprecating.   They might even catch a glimpse of themselves in the mirror and realize how sexy they look.  Confidence builds from this and it effects every aspect of their lives.  They become better wives, mothers, sisters, and friends because they feel better about themselves physically and emotionally.  When people are hesitant, I usually tell them to look at the instructor.  I remind them that everyone else in the room will be looking at the instructor (not them) and that if they just watch her, they’ll be fine.  It works and it’s so amazing to watch women come in broken and alone and leave with friends, a new support group, confidence, and inspiration.  People come for a workout and they leave with their souls fed.

The past year of owning my own business has been an incredible journey of personal growth for me.  I’ve made connections with so many amazing women and forged friendships with people in different situations.  I’ve learned about compassion, true strength, faith, and living outside of fear.  I didn’t wait until to follow my passion and I wouldn’t change a thing!

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Take the Plunge. Start Your Own Business.


Yes, we all know this. The past two years in particular have been extremely rough for even the employed, but there is a silver lining in our dark cloud. What is it you may ask? Well, according to many analysts, this is the perfect time to start your own business and I could not agree more. The truth is, we've been through this crunch before. So let me put my History degree to work for a moment so I can get you to thinking about taking the plunge.

First, let's jump into the time machine back to 1973. Nixon was in office, the economy was not the best, the US was still in Vietnam, and the world was experiencing the oil crisis. During this time, the cost of the gas rose 50% and there was gas rationing. Although times looked bleak, some very famous start-ups began, including: Famous Amos Cookies, Supercuts, Chili's and a little company called Microsoft.  

The truth is, many of the companies on the DOW were started during an economic downturn, including McDonald's, Proctor and Gamble and Disney. I'm not saying that everyone will make a killing, but this economy is offering an economic opportunity to be independent and have the life you want; and even if it does not work out, you still do not have much to lose.

The Wall Street Journal just published a story recently about the tech boom happening in New York away from Wall Street and big businesses. This should definitely ring a bell for those old enough to remember the economic shambles the country was left in due to trickle down . This allowed many young people to start their own business in the 90s with the then groundbreaking internet.

The truth is, our economy has been kept afloat by not big business, but the power of small businesses for 20 years now. If you've been thinking about opening your own business, I challenge you to really start making moves to make it happen. Start putting together real ideas of what you want your business to look like. Start really researching where there is a need for your idea. Start pricing locations if your business needs an actual building. Just start. Research is always free and you may not need as much capital as you think. Besides, you may surprise yourself and will make your dreams come true.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Sorry for the lack of posts!

Hello Everyone!

I apologize for the lack of posts. I've been gearing up for completing everything to start grad school in January, but we will be back starting next week! We have something very cool planned and are looking for women with their own business to interview. If you're interested, please send a message to